You know you’re a massage therapist when….

Everyone wants a massage when you go to a barbie

Finding towels to mop up floods and leaks is no problem

Having bad breathe is your worst nightmare

Needing to protect your hands gets you out of doing gardening or manual labour

People will highlight their life story in 60 minutes

Wearing jewellery is a thing of the past

When your dog sits on your lap and demands a shoulder massage

Whenever someone finds out what you do for a living they will point out all their aches and pains

You are constantly checking out people’s posture

You ask for massage dvds for birthday presents

You can’t give someone a hug without palpating their muscles

You can’t open packages and parcels because you have no finger nails

You can’t relax when you are having a massage because you are too much in your mind, assessing what the therapist is doing and why

You car has smudges on the window because no matter how well you wash your hands and arms, there’s always a little residual oil

You consider that people snoring (or farting) is a compliment

You constantly smell fragrant

You do postural assessment of politicians on TV

You equate the price of an item in terms of how many massages it will take you to pay for it

You fold towels in your sleep

You get excited about a towel sale

You have nail files everywhere

You have no nails (or growing them on holiday is a treat)

You love/hate Enya (delete as appropriate)

You recognise people better from behind

You use words such a gluteal, fascia, coccyx when you play Scrabble

Your kids jump in when someone calls you a “masseuse”

You’ve been tempted more than once to tell someone that you didn’t recognise them with their clothes on

Feel free to add any more in the comments below!